I am begging you: stop killing women while claiming you are protecting women, stop killing kids while claiming you are protecting kids

Hello, friends. I know I published a fun, lighthearted post about bad ancient Greek on TV yesterday, but welcome to 2025, where manic mood swings are the norm. I’ll be back next week with more classics-inflected silliness, because, as today’s Ask Polly says more beautifully than I ever could, finding joy is crucially necessary in the face of tremendous suffering.

But today I want to make sure all of my readers are aware of the two devastating anti-trans executive orders published in the last week and a half that, if enforced, would make it impossible for me to give my daughter the care she needs. And since this is Myth Takes, I’m going to focus on a particularly pernicious lie: the myth that Republicans care about women and children and are doing any of this on our behalf.

The first order, released last Monday on inauguration day, is titled “Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government.” It seeks to legally define gender as the same as sex assigned at birth and prevent trans people from getting documents that reflect their true gender (among other things).

The second order was released yesterday and is titled “Protecting Children From Chemical and Surgical Mutilation.” Its scope is enormous, but it would defund hospitals that provide gender-affirming care to kids. I recommend

Erin Reed

’s terrific newsletter for more detailed breakdowns of the two EOs.

I don’t really have the words to capture the depth and breadth of my fear, rage, and nausea right now. This is extremely personal for me as the parent of a trans child.

A lot of people might disagree with what the Trump administration is doing here but not care that much. Maybe trans rights just isn’t your issue. But please take a moment to imagine what this is like for trans people and their families. Imagine what it would be like if your kid was trans. (They might be!) How would you feel right now? Would it make you feel any better if someone told you that Republicans don’t really hate trans people, they just think the whole issue is nuts and and an easy way to score political points and stir up their base? Weird how that doesn’t really help when it’s your kid at risk, right?

my daughter on New Year’s Eve

There’s so much that’s enraging and upsetting here for me, but at this moment I can’t stop fixating on the rhetoric. “Defending Women.” “Protecting Children.” In case anyone needs a reminder: trans people are, overwhelmingly, at a much greater risk of being victims of violence than they are themselves a risk to others, and trans kids who don’t get the care they need have truly catastrophic mental health outcomes.

There’s so much evidence (for now! the second EO also tries to erase this evidence and replace it with junk science) to support these two claims that I don’t even know what to link to, but let’s start with this peer-reviewed study in Nature from a few months ago showing that suicide among trans youth increased after state-level anti-trans bills were passed. That suggests that even the mere existence of this EO will kill children, whether or not it gets enforced.

If you want to see more of the heartbreaking statistics on trans suicidality, I recommend this study. Of particular interest: the study shows that trans kids with community and family support generally do well. Conservatives would have us believe that trans people are mentally unwell, but being trans is not in itself what makes people suicidal. Transphobia kills.

In case you need more evidence that all of the paternalistic claims here are bullshit,

Jessica Valenti

has covered extensively on her newsletter how anti-abortion laws are killing pregnant people. Republicans are not interested in defending women and protecting children. They want to control fertility, and they want trans people to not exist — either by legally erasing them, forcing them out of the country, or driving them to hurt themselves.

Trans (and nonbinary and intersex) people have always existed. It doesn’t take a scholar of antiquity to know that, although I’m happy to provide receipts if you need them. It’s a myth that trans people are a uniquely contemporary phenomenon. But fact-checking the lies won’t actually help the people at risk.

It isn’t clear yet what any of us can do to fight back against this sweeping cruelty and ignorance. But please keep trans people and those who love them in your hearts today.

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I’ve written about my daughter before here and here, and about my ex here, here, and here. In other pieces I’ve allowed gender critical readers to leave thoughtful, measured comments, but right now I will delete and block any comments suggesting my daughter deserves her persecution swiftly and mercilessly.